I’ve been chasing ghosts for awhile, running away from a past — a realization that the childhood I yearned, missed, needed will never come to fruition. Instead, there is grief and a confusion of a void, a child that was never born. It’s hard to accept life that started without me and the responsibility that was put on my shoulders the day I learned to walk. I wonder about those milliseconds, those moments when it’s all about me and not about everyone else. When those moments will come when I am free of guilt — a responsibility, burden that was never mine to bear. I’ve been pushed to the brink of being broken, letting things drop and fail before me. Tarnished and ripped of my medals. One by one, I watched each fatality as a necessity to sacrifice and give myself. Not anymore. This life I begin anew with a different assertion. This time, I guard my interactions like business transactions, analyzing the give-and-take and whether it is enough. For too long, I’ve given myself and for too long, I’ve received not much. The journey to redeem my rewards, my ambitions starts today with a harsh sunlight that burns. Yet this burning light I take with joy at the first taste of personal satisfaction and fulfillment.